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28.08.2012 | 14:42

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12.06.2012 | 14:56

I'll just copy and paste my Facebook post:

I called Jasper's previous owner to ask about his breed because it has been seeming more and more unlikely that he is a miniature pinscher, he's way too small and just doesn't exactly look it, now that I have seen him next to a verified one. Several people have been calling him a Prague Ratter. The man's reaction? 'Yeah, he's a Prague Ratter. That's the same thing as a miniature pinscher.' LOL no it's not! Seems official though, Jasper is a Prague Ratter :)

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27.01.2012 | 16:47

Red lentils I just cooked soft with lemon grass, coriander, cumin, and a dry sherry taste suspiciously meat-like and I can't figure out why. Delicious though.

I was going to watch the "House" show for the first time, they just aired an episode featuring an asexual couple and because of the severe lack of asexual exposure in the media Lev and I were interested and intended to watch it together...then we each independently found out that it in fact sucked very much. One was found to have a medical cause for his "asexuality" and the other turned out to just be lying to be together with him. In the end they 'debunked' it as not being legitimate orientation at all. So there is finally mainstream awareness and it is completely negative as well as ill-informed as they seemed to confuse "asexuality" with "erectile dysfunction" and/or "lack of libido" which is not accurate. It's kind of upsetting.

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05.08.2011 | 11:11

more cupcakes.

my back actually hurts from making cupcakes.

that's enough.

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21.02.2011 | 16:21

Btw, since people keep asking when I'm going to post more paintings: art sale!
And this might be the beginning of the end. Beginning with an end-of-(last)-year sale at the beginning of the year, oh how chaotic.

The mushrooms in my icon are up too now.

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28.01.2011 | 00:10

I just upgraded Skype to 5.0 just because it's been bouncing around telling me to and I thought well ok maybe it will hold better with my recent connection problem.

The thing is huge, clunky, stuck together in one gigantic app, it is just horrible.

And google tells me if I want to downgrade again I have to delete all of my files and start from scratch. This sucks.

So be warned if you are considering upgrading, google it and read reviews and look at screen shots first.

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07.01.2011 | 14:24

I don't make a whole lot of money on these mandala patterns but the e-mails from people who buy them are so uplifting, they alone make me want to create more of them. That such a simple thing can cause such feelings in people, it's beautiful.

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03.01.2011 | 14:53

Any Hindi speakers reading this have a few minutes and willing to type me out the lyrics to these two nursery rhymes? I tried googling them and searching the site linked on the videos but no luck. I get the gist of them (of course i know the numbers, and "chalna" is one of the first verbs I learned) but I don't know all of the words. Don't need a translation, just the text and I could probably figure it out from there :) Doesn't matter if it's Romanised or Devanagari, I've got the alphabet down. They're only about a minute and a half each:

Ek Do Teen
Ghadi Tik Tik Tik

The kids love these two and keep asking me to sing them and I kind of want to make sure I am singing them right too lol

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03.01.2011 | 13:40

I posted these to my art account but copied and pasted to my regular journal because they have personal relevance: Almost completely painted without an eye patch! (I had started them in October, hence the one Halloweenish one). I've developed the habit of looking from one side though as i figured would happen. Still better than patching one eye so often.

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16.12.2010 | 19:08

Apparently this was just in the paper about my brother's band:

“Lemongelli sounds like a bare-knuckle bowling alley brawl between King Kong and The Allman Brothers. Who wins? Everyone wins. It’s a bare-knuckle bowling alley brawl between King Kong and The Allmans.”

- Gene Padden, music critic, The Citizens’ Voice


This is them, he is the first one on the left although he looks totally different now, he lost about 100 lbs since that pic was taken.

eta: 3 picsCollapse )

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13.12.2010 | 21:24

omg I figured out why rednecks wear wife beaters. it's because of how strongly they feel about their right to bare arms.

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30.11.2010 | 12:48

Does anyone want a free website design for your small business or portfolio something? I'm thinking of doing some on the side again for extra money and it would be good to have some current examples besides my own websites.

I did this professionally back in 2001, employed by an automation company here in Brandenburg, I quit when I got sick and eventually the company went out of business so I went on to teach at the language center here instead, which I in turn quit when I was pregnant because I was making more money selling paintings than teaching.

My specialty is flexibility, making a design work across as many platforms as possible, which is why I shied away from Flash early on for instance. I don't even use JavaScript in my own sites even though I learned it, because of compatibility and the fact that users tend not to like it, so I achieve everything with HTML and CSS.

If anyone's interested post here and we can talk :)

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28.11.2010 | 20:42

I did three more editions of mandalas and finished the website for them:

Editions 4 (all flowers!) and 5 are my favourites so far.

I had the idea of printing and colouring 9 or 12 of them and framing them in square frames then arranging them 3x3 or 3x4 like a patchwork quilt on the wall and now I'm all excited :D I probably won't have any time to do it in the near future but still. It could also be a nice gift, if anyone is looking for something somewhat-personalized for someone who likes anything from art in general to Buddhism, Hinduism, India, to patchwork quilts I guess. COLO(U)R!!!

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Genetics buffs please!

18.11.2010 | 15:22

I'm trying to understand this genetics thing. Read more...Collapse )

Of course I'd like to just get the test done already and see what we find out but it's not a financial priority unfortunately :p

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15.11.2010 | 01:17
♥ : bland


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13.11.2010 | 17:49

You are the product of an unbroken lineage, some 7500 generations of pairs have had to successfully produce offspring which lived at least long enough to continue the cycle, from the emergence of our modern species through its development of language, technology, and society, with so many hardships along the way just from finding nourishment and protecting ourselves from the rest of nature, through severe climate changes like ice ages and warming periods and acute natural disasters, countless wars and other violent conflicts, and devastating diseases like the Black Death which killed 30%-60% of the population of Europe alone at the time.

Those ~7500 pairs of people over tens of thousands of years, and just one of them would have to have died too soon for you to not have come into existence.

Whether you are a Creationist or a Darwinist or something in between we at least generally agree that we come from a long line of people.

So no matter what else you want to put yourself down for don't forget how long and far you've come and what odds it is that you exist it all. It kind of makes you special, like everyone else :p

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06.10.2010 | 13:00

This is the world's oldest known song with complete music notation, it even has lyrics. It was found on clay tablets, recorded in cuneiform, in a lost city of Syria and dates back to around 1400 BC. It was discovered in the late 90s. The title of it translates to 'The Prayer of the Infertile Woman' and as a sad lament to the moon goddess of a childless (not "childfree" in this context!) wife asking why she could not bear children as others.

orchestral interpretation:

simple version with lyrics, on a reproduction the lyre instrument of the time

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05.09.2010 | 23:10

i dreamt we invented a device that could detect and reproduce sound waves past their audibility to our ears, and roughly date their creation. using filtering methods and something akin to a new form of archaeology with sounds, we were verifying and clarifying countless historical and criminal cases. it was revolutionary in the way that carbon dating was. maybe more so.

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Do people who aren't sorry deserve forgiveness?

24.08.2010 | 15:06

I just felt like articulating this...

I had the question posed "why do people hate each other?" and my instinctive reaction was, "Because they are unforgiving."

That seemed to put the whole fault for the situation of hate on the one who was wronged, in other words it's -- dare I say it -- some variety of victim-blaming.

My method of reasoning to a resolution involves something of a debate between sides in my head so in defense of the unforgiving hater I asked myself the question, "what if the one who has wronged the victim (of course this is simplified for the sake of this argument) did not deserve forgiveness?"

But I realised that forgiveness is not just something you give to other people as a gift of selflessness. It's something you do for yourself, to move on. You can forgive someone who is not sorry for what they have done, who perhaps even continues to behave inappropriately, and you should forgive them because you deserve it.

If you are such a mindful person as to be considering forgiving someone who has not only done you wrong but is not sorry for it, I honestly believe that your compassion is great enough that you deserve to be free of the pain of anger associated with continuing to be unforgiving.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned." -Buddha


I recently read a comment from someone who had been treated badly by another person and said she didn't want to let it go because she felt that would let the wrongdoer "win." I guess the reasoning is that if she went on with her life as if nothing had happened, it would be condoning what was done.

Keeping with that concept of 'letting them win': if someone does something to harm you and you continue to let it negatively affect you, I think they have really hit the jackpot there. However, if you are able to stand up and put it beside you and go on with your life not letting it get you down, you've shown them that their horrible actions have not managed to destroy you, you have won over them.

I thought that might be helpful to some other people too.

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24.08.2010 | 12:40

Quinn is sitting next to me twisting one of my Rubik's cubes to make letters on it...I, U, C, H...

Today we made books (construction paper covers, white drawing paper inside, all folded in half to A5 size and stapled on the fold). The wrote and drew in/on them with crayons and coloured pencils, cut out shapes to glue inside, and used stickers.

At night after their bubble bath we made chocolate cupcakes.

This stuff is mundane, we do things like this regularly, but i never write it down and should sometimes in case they forget their nice memories later.

Quinn asked me last night what "ladies and gentlemen" meant. I explained it superficially then elaborated one what people mean as far as expected or observed behaviour, concluding with the point that he can be considered a little gentleman already if he tries to always be kind. He got a sad look and said, 'but I'm not a good person, because I do bad things.' And went on to talk about when he accidentally caught a guineafowl up in a string he was playing with and injured it so badly (it got stuck in a bush and pulled its own leg out of the socket panicking) that we had to slaughter it.

It reminded me of a Dharma talk on depression by one of my favourite Buddhist monks, Ven. Ajahn Brahm about people only seeing their mistakes, and carrying around 'their chickenshit in their basket instead of the eggs.' I didn't use that story, or the one about the brick wall in that sermon but I went with the basic idea and reminded him that he tries to be good, that this and most other really terrible things that happened have been accidental, and that there are a lot of GOOD things he does.

So he asked me what the good things were and I mentioned how he helps his little brothers, he even washes Jack up in the bathtub when he poops his pants, he makes sandwiches for them both, he draws pictures for people and folds it up and puts it in their mailboxes to make them smile, he helps me clean up, he closes up the barn at night so the fox doesn't come in, when one of our hens was a clucky with two chicks he always made sure they made it into the barn at night since they often didn't on their own, and so forth. That seemed to make him really happy so I hope he doesn't forget it again soon.

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at the moment

15.08.2010 | 17:11

i'm sitting under a tent in a thunderstorm next to our four Indian runner ducklings playing in the water 2 picsCollapse )

eta: on the 10th we took a trip to the zoo / film animal training school to visit the guanacos and one female in particular seemed to bond with me quickly according to Peter. we need name suggestions, also :)

+3Collapse )

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15.08.2010 | 15:22

i've been taking so many notes on Buddhism that i decided to just make a dedicated journal. it's buddha_notes (creative!) if you are interested. anyone is welcome to read/comment.

this doesn't mean i will never mention Buddhism here again, just that the long contemplations that don't directly have something to do with me personally will tend to be there now.

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31.07.2010 | 11:54

I am tentatively coming to the conclusion that enlightenment is a physiological state, which can be "attained by anyone" in the same way that perhaps "anyone" could sing like an opera singer because "everyone" has vocal cords.

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25.07.2010 | 14:13

this is my favourite from a recent project, and the largest painting i have completed in a while (i usually have a few i am working on) it's 30"x30"

and why can't firefox decide what to do with the colours, in the LJ previews it shows it drabber and in the actual display it's oversaturated :/

i liked this one a lot, it's a 20x20. the scanner doesn't take the red tones well.

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14.07.2010 | 14:52

I watched the second part of "Discovering Buddhism" which is about Death and Rebirth. You don't have to be religious or even believe Buddha ever existed to gain something from the teachings.

Death and...birth, actually. Unassisted birth, precisely.Collapse )

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12.07.2010 | 13:48

In trying to trace my ancestry and ethnic origins I have landed at Buddhism by a slight tangent and finding it very interesting, I have been reading a bit about it here and there in my free minutes. From my ignorance to it, it has surprised me with it's logic in many regards. My natural tendency to view all things within the basic concepts of physics and apply pure logic where possible have been crowding my mind so I am making some notes for now. There might be errors in my logic and less important things, these are spontaneous and I don't have much time right now so I will just begin, and let it end where it does, and at least have something to come back to.

thoughts in no particular orderCollapse )

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08.07.2010 | 12:19

First pics of our guanacos, chillin' at the zoo until we can take them home. WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT FACE? Oh god, i have to name one BUNNY. it looks like a bunny crossed with a horse or a sheep or something. it's a WOOLY BUNNY HORSE.

+9Collapse )

nice wool already, too. Peter is wondering if they might actually be part alpaca themselves after all. i don't even know if they have those, but i've not usually seen such long wool on a guanaco. still, i guess the zoo owner should know.

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21.06.2010 | 06:16

oh insomnia, i know you only hurt me because you love me <3

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18.06.2010 | 12:00

I just redesigned my website. It would be helpful if anyone who takes a look could tell me if it looks/works alright for you ad what browser/OS you are using.

The set up I used for the gallery was something I put together as a way to avoid JavaScript pop-ups, having to run any other scripts, or load a new website for each individual image. I tried to keep the code as simple as possible to get as much compatibility across different platforms as possible but you never know.

I have checked it in Safari 4.0.4 and Firefox 3.6.3 both on Mac OS X 10.5.8 already.

Oh and whether you can help with that info or not, I'll hear your overall opinions of the new look too!

Thanks :)

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15.06.2010 | 00:02

housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker housemaker homemaker

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24.05.2010 | 03:52

well i know i have emotions because i just happened on some images of proton-proton beam collisions at 7 teraelectronvolt in the ALICE detector at the LHC and it was so beautiful i cried.

but then i painted this which has nothing to do with that

and you wouldn't know which eye is the good one

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07.05.2010 | 12:54

i don't know if it's some kind of laziness or what but i have noticed that for a long time already i can never count higher than 20.

and if i am counting something that numbers greater than 20, i count it on a basis of 20 (in other words i suppose, i count in scores). once i hit "20" i don't go to "21" but back to "1" and i mark a "1" in the margin of my head to notate that 1 "20" is complete.

for instance, 50 is not 50 but 2.5 then. consistently, 35 = 1.75, and so forth.

i've always done something like this when i do something where i have to count within two distinct groups. i don't know how to better describe that so i'll give an example. if i am making a cake and need 3 cups of flour, but have only a 1/2 cup measuring cup, then i need to count 2 of those for each cup, and 3 complete cups. instead of multiplying 2x3 and putting in 6 of the 1/2 cups, i count like this:

1, 2, (1).
1, 2, (2).
1, 2, (3).

(parentheses to illustrate the system.)

but the 20s is really unnecessary.

crazy/lazy i guess (x.x)

it really doesn't make sense because my favourite even natural number is 10 (3 is my favourite uneven natural number and 1 my favourite prime number -- i know, cliche, but i can't much help what i like). and 10 would lend itself so much better to such a system -- in terms of simplicity, maybe not efficiency -- only five 20s are already 100 but i'd need ten 10s, of course.. well anyway, it's 20.

oh whatever, i like numbers.

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07.05.2010 | 12:36

"how are you going to find out if it's them?"
"i shall ask them."
"and if they lie?"
"then my clever plan has been foiled."

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05.05.2010 | 23:58

o, got metaquoted again. almost missed it even though she told me so.

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18.04.2010 | 20:02

i still could not sleep at 4am. so i made 100+ cake pralines.

+9Collapse )

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newest rescue animals

13.04.2010 | 15:01

'do you want this box of chicks? i was just about to stick them in the freezer so we could feed them to the big lizards later.'

and that's how we ended up with 26 ~2-week-old baby chickens left over from sale for Easter decorations.

+3Collapse )

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06.04.2010 | 14:22

I had another fun dream. For some reason, I know that johnny depp played a main character.

tl;drCollapse )

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01.04.2010 | 14:30

artwork usesCollapse )

any other ideas of how to make money with my artwork besides actually selling original artwork? i have scans of over 500 miniature paintings from the past ~5 years, over 300 6x4s, a few dozen larger (12x16) and some really tiny ones like 1x1 inch that actually do not lend themselves well to printing because of their tiny size to begin with. most images are scanned at a resolution of 600-1200 dpi and printing generally can't even do better than 300 so i can easily use them for things larger than their original size. so i have plenty to work with, just need to find how.

obviously it has to be things i am physically capable of while i recover still but i'll listen to any suggestions. the main problems are that my hands are unsteady for doing things that require tiny precision, my vision is often blurry -- though because of the cause, covering one eye is a makeshift solution to that so in any case where that is the only problem i suppose i could go pirate, lol-- and looking closely at things or trying to follow movement (like watching a paintbrush or pencil as i move it) trigger the nystagmus, so i basically can't even see or concentrate on what i am doing.

any other places that are looking to license original artwork would also be interesting. so far i have licensed for printing as the cross-stitch patterns, art magazines, and occasionally logo designs although obviously commissions of new images are not possible right now.

since it might be relevant to ideas, for people who are new to my friends list or just otherwise not familiar with what kind of images i make: here is my website (obviously not updated since last year) or you can just sit and watch some on youtube here.

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30.03.2010 | 16:24


Hadron Collider breakthrough as beams collide

textCollapse )

"Evidence of supersymmetry -- the idea that every particle has a 'super partner' with similar properties in a quantum dimension (according to some physics theories, there are hidden dimensions in the universe) -- could crop up as early as 2010."


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27.03.2010 | 15:23

I dreamt my mother gave me an illustrated hardcover book and I sat at the desk in my studio reading it. It was about a man who went to the shore to look for crabs. He got there and found the little air holes they make when the waves wash over the sand and tried digging with his hands but realised a sieve would be more practical. +6 short paragraphs summarisingCollapse )

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13.03.2010 | 12:57

researchers at MT have discovered a way to produce energy from carbon nanotubes -- microscopic little wire-type things -- many times more efficient for their size than batteries we use right now, plus non-toxic. this is exciting.

article text+linkCollapse )

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10.03.2010 | 23:38

hold your breath and spin around a few times.

yeah that, that's how i feel.

also, ok i can't watch The Office. i just tried the pilot episode. there is no audible audience or even a laugh track. i don't know when stuff is supposed to be funny and it makes me insecure or something. everything just seems awkward and i feel bad for this boss character. it's depressive.

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07.03.2010 | 17:10

the last time i was this sick with a cold/flu was about a year ago and i lost the 10 lbs and never gained it back. at this rate, i will have completely disappeared within less than a decade.

yeah but no really i am quite miserable, lol

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23.02.2010 | 13:17

the adrenal test today was not so bad, the worst part was actually the bandage after! i am allergic to their adhesive and my skin started to react within a few seconds when they bandaged over after removing the cannula, so we took it off but my vein was still bleeding after a while so they put a full bandage over with gauze all the way around my arm, so that it could be taped up without the tape touching my skin.

i forgot i was allergic to theirs (there are a few my body still tolerates, i should bring my own), after they took blood last time my skin swelled up and came off with the tape when i removed it. so i end up with scars from the bandage and the actual needle prick is like nothing.

this seems silly for a little cannula puncture but at least i can keep my skin on and don't have blood on my clothes.

but how cool is my new scarf? i got it on clearance in the kids' section when i was getting Quinn's new pants, someone just stuck it between clothes on the rack. i always wanted one like this. every colour :) i love perfect spectral gradients. (the colour flow is better than it looks in this pic, i should take one with a proper camera.)

they will call with the results. one of the nurses told me the endocrinologist will do it "fast."

my last blood results showed low cortisol levels, which is another sign of an adrenal insufficiency and the reason they have done this test now. as i expected, all it consisted of was blood draw, intravenous hormone injection, lying there under observation for an hour, and another blood draw. and in my case, watching for hypoglycemia because i had to fast.

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more photos i've taken

17.02.2010 | 13:57

some of you have seen all of these.


+10Collapse )

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10.02.2010 | 15:46

i have been having a lot of thoughts i can't articulate. this is new to me.

we did kids yoga this morning, now the kids are playing dress-up with each other (i keep a box with masks and other costume items and accessories i've collected).

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27.01.2010 | 14:44

also, my hair: it is cut.

oh yeah and then i did that to it:

Candice took me with on Thursday for my second official professional haircut ever in my life. they seemed surprised that i wanted it all cut off, but seriously, it was half way down my back and this was me less than 3 years ago, it grows so fast it's a joke.

i wasn't sure what to even have them do with it, so i kept asking Candice about specific things and whatever, i just do whatever with it now, i guess i don't really care. if it didn't bother Peter i would just shave it off again, then i wouldn't have to wash it.

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23.01.2010 | 13:32

oh i didn't post this one here yesterday, i will post some more later too :) we named him Teal (thank you, fieryphoenix!) and by evening he was already taking food on his own without us having to stick it in his mouth. he LOVES apples most of all. this morning he was awake early and tried to run around the house but he slips on the tiles. later today he will probably be moved to the heated utility room across from the barn. but he is so tame and friendly and even seems to like having his head stroked now and ears scratched, oh no :)

i forgot to mention yesterday, this made me laugh, when i was at my doctor's and going over what physiotherapy i was doing for balance and i showed him the guide i had been given at the hospital and said i do them all except standing on one foot or walking with my eyes closed because i cannot do those without falling over, i said "i could not do that before! can YOU do that?!" and he looked at the guide and said HMM and stood up and balanced on one leg and closed his eyes and smirked! lol.

he also offered me his own reading glasses when we were looking over the information on my medications to see if any of those affect nerves directly because i've had a hard time seeing and was just like omg this tiny tiny text (he was looking on his computer while i looked through the package inserts from them that i keep in my little file thing with all of the medical stuff i always take with me to doctors).

i should feel so old and broken D:

but i am still letting myself consider these things temporary until i am told otherwise. it's the only thing keeping me going for right now. and i have a plan -- if they tell me it isn't, it can only be because they know what is wrong, and knowing what is wrong lets me be more objective and deal :p

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25.12.2009 | 23:34

Would anyone like one of these $10 LiveJournal gift coupon things? First come, first serve.

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17.12.2009 | 12:41

The planet, named GJ 1214b, is 2.7 times as large as Earth and orbits a star much smaller and less luminous than our sun. That's significant, Charbonneau said, because for many years, astronomers assumed that planets only would be found orbiting stars that are similar in size to the sun.

Because of that assumption, researchers didn't spend much time looking for planets circling small stars, he said.
The discovery of this "watery world" helps debunk the notion that Earth-like planets could form only in conditions similar to those in our solar system.


Why do they still do this?! How can scientists be so close-minded? I realise there must be some limits set for reasons of practicality but come on.

That annoyed the hell out of me in school, when we would be taught that something "is" and found out later that what they really meant is that it was "presumed to be." Text books are ridden with this sort of error and i feel it's very significant.

eta: And for your unrelated listening enjoyment, Sarah Brightman's beautiful rendition of Figlio Perduto:

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